“No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice, and family. In forming a marital union, two people become something greater than they once were.” –Justice Anthony Kennedy
“It is one thing for separate concurring or dissenting opinions to contain extravagances, even silly extravagances, of thought and expression; it is something else for the official opinion of the court to do so.” –Justice Antonin Scalia
Lia and I have been married for nearly sixteen years. We exercised a right and have reaped the benefits, both legally and spiritually. I believe each of us has always striven for our union to embody “the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice, and family,” yet individually and collectively we have often fallen woefully short. I bet we are not alone in this regard.
Given my personal circumstances, Justice Kennedy’s final paragraph moved me to a flood of tears, as my wife and I struggle to sort out how the ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice, and family work in a somewhat asymmetrical adult relationship. His words both inspire and comfort me. They also scare me.
I think of a friend of mine recently divorced from an abusive husband. In their union, did two people become something greater than they once were? Did their union embody the ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice, and family? No, it is those very ideals which inspired my friend to stay in the marriage far longer than was safe, and now those “ideals” are codified by the highest court. They have absolutely nothing to do with the right of two consenting adults to enter into the contract of marriage.
Yes, this is a day to celebrate an historic civil rights victory. Yet I believe we should heed the crackpot Scalia’s warnings. The official majority opinion veers dangerously close, on the liberal side, to violation of the separation of church and state. Do I really want an old man with a robe and a gavel defining the ideals of my marriage? No, I want him to codify and protect my right to marry. Leave the rest to the poets and the college psych majors.
giantmooserocks 